托福备考资料:T友写作范文汇总(五十三)

文章作者 100test 发表时间 2008:04:02 14:09:24
来源 100Test.Com百考试题网

089 If you could travel back in time to meet a famous person from history, what person would you like to meet? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
There are a lot of person who made great contributions to our society. When facing the question who is the most preferred person to meet, people hold diverse choices due to their respective emotional concerns and personal angles. In my point of view, I would meet the famous scientist Yuan Longpin duo to his achievement, personality and spirits.

To begin with, Mr. Yuan is the celebrated scientist who had accomplished so great feat for the people of whole country. As we all know, the agriculture of our country is too weak, and millions of people need enough food to eat. The fact has lasted decades of years until the new kind of grain was planted. It is Mr. Yuan who bred the new coin by thousands of trials, suffering countless fails. The new crossbreed coin make an exceedingly stride in the output, reaching 800 kilograms per acre in some regions. The achievement has mainly solved the food-needy problem in china.

Next factor why I choose Yuan Longpin is because one of his characters: industrious. In the process of experiments, Mr. Yuan, as old as 60, in spite of the hot sunshine or pouring storms, seed, water and fertilize in the field. Moreover, he had traveled almost every corner of whole country to find the most suitable weather and soil condition. By his thousands of trial plants, the plantation of the new grain is successful. Now it is mass-produced all over the country. From this, I know that success is based on sweat and struggle.

An additional reason is his providing of education for the young generations. Yuan donated to build 3 middle schools in his hometown. Meanwhile, he told the students the knowledge is the most powerful force to change the poor fate. Now hundreds of students educated there has graduated from universities and be main forces in diverse industries.

Admittedly, there are also other persons in history who should gain respect from us in that they had impulsed our society to develop in all aspects. But I would rather say that the enough food is the basis of other activities. It is Yuan longpin who make it came to true, therefore, whom I want to meet is him..
To sum up, all the factors mentioned above weave into an organic whole and thus be more convincible. All the values we gained from YUAN LONGPIN will definitely benefit to not only me but also every Chinese people. This also leads to my original propensity.

修改意见:
There are a lot of person who made great contributions to our society. （there be 句型不赞成使用哦，尤其在ETS的文章里）When facing the question who is the most preferred person to meet, people hold diverse choices due to their respective emotional concerns and personal angles. In my point of view, I would meet the famous scientist Yuan Longpin duo （due) to his achievement, personality and spirits.

To begin with, Mr. Yuan is the celebrated scientist who had accomplished so (有了so,总让人不自觉地在后面找that:( ) great feat for the people of (the) whole country. As we all know, the agriculture of our country is too (建议换个）weak, and millions of people need enough food to eat. The fact has lasted decades of years until the new kind of grain was planted. It is Mr. Yuan who bred the new coin by thousands of trials, suffering countless fails(failures). （good) The new crossbreed coin make( 这个地方过去时是不是好些？） an exceedingly stride in the output, reaching 800 kilograms per acre in some regions. The achievement has mainly solved the food-needy problem in china.

Next factor why I choose Yuan Longpin is because one of his characters: industrious. （MM，注意句式的变化哦，这个地方可以自己多加工下的，不一定要套模版，你可以试着改改问句）In the process of experiments, Mr. Yuan, as old as 60, in spite of the hot sunshine or pouring storms, seed, water and fertilize （事态错误）in the field. Moreover, he had traveled almost every corner of （the) whole country to find the most suitable weather and soil condition. By his thousands of trial plants, the plantation of the new grain is (was) successful. Now it is mass-produced all over the country. From this, I know that success is based on sweat and struggle.(GOOD)

An additional reason is his providing of education for the young generations. (上面GG说了，还是句式问题哦）Yuan donated to build 3 middle schools in his hometown. Meanwhile, he told the students the knowledge is the most powerful force to change the poor fate. Now hundreds of students educated there has graduated from universities and be main forces in diverse industries.

Admittedly, there are also other persons in history who should gain respect from us in that they had impulsed our society to develop in all aspects. But I would rather say that the enough food is the basis of other activities. It is Yuan longpin who make it came to true, therefore, whom I want to meet is him..

To sum up, all the factors mentioned above weave into an organic whole and thus be more convincible. All the values we gained from YUAN LONGPIN will definitely benefit to not only me but also every Chinese people. This also leads to my original propensity.