2007英语四级写作训练(四):比较型作文3

文章作者 100test 发表时间 2007:10:10 11:29:02
来源 100Test.Com百考试题网

比较型作文之14分作文

比较型作文一般分为说明式比较和议论式比较两种。说明式比较在比较过程中，作者不发表个人意见，在文中不体现个人取向，单纯以说明介绍为目的。

在四、六级考试中的比较型作文多以议论式比较的形式出现。议论式比较以比较事物优劣、阐明自己立场为目的，一般分为倾向型和中立型两种类型。

14分作文相对于11分作文,只要在11分作文的基础上进行一些语法等亮点的改进

一、句子中的一致问题: 包括主谓一致、时态一致、人称一致

二、 篇章中的称谓一致问题：（请看）

You can see a live show on TV. We can get the information of soports events on TV. But there is a unique topic you can only read from the sports line in newspaper. The sports lovers can sit in a comfortable chair, hold the newspaper and read what the coach said and what the players felt.

以上段落中出现了三种不同的称谓：you,we,the sports lovers,细细研究，不难发现，前两种称谓都是用来指代the sportslovers。作者根据汉语习惯用“你可以...”以及“我们可以...”来表示泛指，但是在英语中像这样在同一个段落或同一篇文章中混淆称谓的现象是不允许的。

三、 指代不清

四、 8分作文在文章结构上基本完善，11分作文在句型结构上有所突破，那么要达到14分作文，除了杜绝语言错误之外，还有两个重要因素：一是在词汇使用上要有亮点，二是适当的修辞手法。

要在词汇运用上有亮点，可以通过动态动词或词组的使用来实现。

“过去的20年上海有了很大的变化”该如何表达呢？
A. There were great changes in Shanghai in the past 20 years.
B. Great changes took place in Shanghai in the past 20 years.
这两种表达虽然没有语法方面的问题,但要想获得14分的高分,就需要在语言上动一点脑筋了.

C. Shanghai witnessed great changes in the past 20 years.
D. Shanghai saw great changes in the past 20 years.
这两句以shanghai作主语，用的是动词witness,see，回译为中文变成了“上海在过去的20年中目睹了巨变”，不但整个句子鲜活了，“上海”也因拟人化动词的使用而跃然纸上，让读者在阅览的过程中也似乎包揽了上海的沧桑巨变，加强了文章的可读性。

要善于利用修辞手法

1、明喻：like,as , as if , as though, as...as..., similar to..等
2、暗喻：“名词A of 名词B"
3、平行结构

作业：（以下为一篇11分范文，请练习按要求改写成漂亮的14分作文）

There is used tobe heated discussion over whether cooperation is more essential than competition. As for me , both of them are important.
要求：1、纠正is used to be 误用
2、把常用的“be 形容词”的结构改写为动态动词作谓语的句子。

Firstly,each person is a member of the society. And several tasks need the cooperation of all the members of a group.You must perform your own tasks carefully.Keep pace with your classmates or colleagues and listen to others suggestions helps you succeed in the end
要求：1、把蓝色粗体第一句改为使用明喻的句子；
2、把need 改为动态动词作谓语的句子；
3、用平行结构合并、改写粉色词汇的句子
4、纠正最后一句中主谓不一致的错误；
5、纠正最后一句中的动词原形作主语的错误；

However,being competitive also has a place in life. As a member of the group, if we want to achieve more and be better than others, youmust pay much more efforts, working harder or studying more diligently.Moreover,we should have the competitive spirit and adapt ourselves to competition.
要求：纠正指代不一致的问题

In a word , we must learn to be both cooperative and competitive in order to succeed in lift. What we need to learn are when to be cooperative and when to be competitive.
要求：纠正蓝色粗体句中主谓不一致的错误。

参考答案:

There used to be heated discussion over whether cooperation is more essential than competition. As for me , the importance of cooperation and competition equals.

Firstly,each person is like a screw of the machine. And several tasks call for the cooperation of all the members of a group.You must perform your own tasks carefully.Keeping pace with your classmates or colleagues and listening to others suggestions help you succeed in the end

However,being competitive also has a place in life. As a member of the group, if you want to achieve more and be better than others, you must pay much more efforts, working harder or studying more diligently.Moreover,you should have the competitive spirit and adapt yourselt to competition.

In a word , we must learn to be both cooperative and competitive in order to succeed in lift. What we need to learn is when to be cooperative and when to be competitive.